BEREAVED MILITARY FAMILIES OF AMERICA, INC  (BMFA)

Advice from Gold Star Parents found in the book:                                                                                                      www.militaryfamilybooks.com

Surviving the Folded Flag: Parents of war share stories of coping, courage, & faith

By Gold Star mom, Deborah Tainsh

 Photos from top L to R:  Marine LCpl Karl Linn, Marine Cpl Christopher Belchik, Navy Seal Danny Dietz, Marine Sergeant Elisha Parker, Marine LCpl Travis Layfield, Army Private Robert Frantz, Army PFC Jesse Mizener, Army Sgt Patrick Tainsh

“Do what you want to do and insist on anything you think is reasonable. No one knows what is good for you in the long run except you.” Richard Linn, dad of Marine LCpl Karl Linn

“Consider creating a legacy for your child.” Lynn Lenker, mom of Marine Cpl Christopher Belchik

“Remembering our brave and loyal son is both wonderful and painful. There have been many, many tears and much anger. But we are determined not to let it destroy us. We know our hero is forever with us.” Cindy Dietz, mom of Navy Seal Danny Dietz


"Don’t worry about someone else’s timeline or expectations. Your grief is your personal journey. Each person walks it differently.” Donna Parker, mom of Marine Sgt Elisha Parker "

Accepting help gives you time to focus on your own needs. It also helps others to help you. Let them throw out your trash, wash your car, cook a meal, go to the store, mow the lawn, anything.” Becky Mizener, mom of Army PFC Jesse D. Mizener

"Wait at least a year before making life-changing and big financial decisions.” Diane Layfield, mom of Marine LCpl Travis Layfield

 “Ensure lines of communication are open for your other children. They need to know their loss is just as immense.”
Kim Smith, mom of Army Private Robert Frantz

 "It’s okay to ask “Why” or to be angry at God. He didn’t’ strike me down! My faith is actually stronger. Grief is a journey. It takes us first into a surreal world of disbelief where we begin our “new norm” and learning to live with the physical absence of our loved one. It will take time to find “the light” again, and as a good friend says, ‘It isn’t time that heals. It’s what we do with that time.’

Realize that emotions can rise and fall on any given day at any moment depending on an experience or memory. It’s not unusual to feel tired, confused, or have memory loss. Your physical being is struggling with a traumatic experience.

Ignore ‘clichés’, people just really don’t know what to say.

Other people are often afraid that talking about your child will bring added pain. Give others permission to talk about your loved one.” Deb Tainsh, mom of Army Sgt Patrick Tainsh